from low supply to full supply - Alison's Breastfeeding Journey
The message - all babies latch, it shouldn't hurt, every mom makes enough milk for her baby. If its not working, mom is doing something wrong...hmmm. Not true. This is the amazing story of a woman that really struggled with her first child and didn't have the thorough guidance and support she needed. I saw Alison TWO TIMES when she was pregnant with her second child! She was not messing around! The first visit we went over her breastfeeding history and as she explains in her post...we resolved some guilt and shame from the experience she had with her older daughter. I then provided as much education as I could to set her up for her next breastfeeding experience and I set her up for maximizing her milk making potential. We also prepared for what would happen if she was not able to make a full supply of milk for her second child. Alison came in for a second prenatal visit a few weeks before her due date and we refreshed her education and the plan for getting the milk going! She was such a good student and boy did her diligence pay off!
“So, are you going to breastfeed?” my OB asked me during one of my final prenatal appointments of my first pregnancy.
“I’m going to try,” I told her. I had done my homework and was well-versed on the benefits of breastfeeding and wanted to see that my daughter benefited from them.
The doctor stopped what she was doing, looked me in the eye and firmly said, “Don’t say that you’re going to try. Say that you will.”
I was not bothered by her comment at the time. She was right, after all. All of my diligent research had told me that “breast is best” and “anyone can breastfeed.” The subtle implication there was that women who were not breastfeeding simply weren’t trying hard enough, or even worse, that perhaps they didn’t care about doing the absolute best for their babies. I assured myself that, no matter what, I would be successful.
On the day my daughter was born, the nurse put the baby on my chest to begin nursing right away. After a few minutes, she asked me, “How’s it going?”
“It hurts,” I said, and I was quite surprised by the amount of pain I was experiencing. I had not been expecting it.
“Well, it’s not supposed to hurt!” the nurse said, and turned and walked away.
I was left alone and perplexed, thinking, “Okay, maybe it’s not supposed to, but it does. What’s wrong with me?”
During my three-day hospital stay, I had a few brief visits from various hospital lactation consultants. I had questions about latching, I wasn’t sure how to help my daughter do it correctly. I remember the consultants would latch her on for me, and while I was thankful for their assistance, I did not learn how to do it myself. The consultants always seemed to be in a rush and I felt like I was taking up too much of their time whenever they came to visit.
The day we went home from the hospital, my daughter screamed all night and refused to latch. Panicked that my daughter hadn’t eaten in several hours, I pumped and fed my daughter through a bottle.
At 10 days of age, my daughter was still having trouble latching and I felt that she was never getting enough when she nursed. I didn’t understand about cluster feedings and just how often newborns nurse. No one had told me that, and for all my diligent research on why breastfeeding was so beneficial, I hadn’t read about the amount of time new mothers must put in breastfeeding their newborns. Convinced that something was wrong, I went to a breastfeeding support group at the hospital where I’d given birth. Two other mothers were there: one had a baby who was about six months old, and seemed to be nursing just fine with his mom. The other mother, like me, had a very young baby. When I arrived, she was talking to the lactation consultant about experiencing postpartum depression, and the two shared stories for most of the hour. At one point, the lactation consultant came over to me at one point when I was struggling to get my daughter to latch. The consultant watched me as I tried and told me that, because of the way my breasts were shaped, I would probably never be able to exclusively nurse a baby, and that I should go buy formula. There was no other assessment done of me or my baby. She then went back to talking to the other mom about PPD as I fought back tears and packed up my daughter to leave. Once again, I felt like a bother and an afterthought.
Not knowing what else to do, I called my husband and told him to bring home some formula on his way home from work. I was angry and disappointed with myself, and I felt like I had failed both my baby and myself.
To make a long story short, after I introduced formula to my daughter, she never nursed again. I pumped what I could, which was about 12-14 ounces a day. I spent hours attached to my Medela Symphony trying to increase my supply. I took supplements, drank enough water to drown a fish, ate lactogenic foods, power pumped twice a day for months, but no matter what I did, I never produced more than 14 ounces in a 24-hour period. I did a lot of reading and research on breastfeeding problems and I learned that having polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal imbalance condition that I have, can affect milk production.
When I discovered that, I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks and I thought to myself, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this was a possibility?” My OB, who so clearly believed in the benefits of breastfeeding and who knew I had PCOS, had never said a word. Didn’t she know this could happen? I read that Metformin, a medication sometimes used to help women with their PCOS symptoms, could help with milk production. I had been taking Metformin prior to my pregnancy and was willing to try it. When I called to ask my OB about it, I was told by the office staff that they didn’t know enough about the safety of Metformin to recommend my taking it during nursing. When I asked for other suggestions, not one doctor in the practice had any for me.
After several bouts of mastitis, thrush, and a further drop in my measly supply, I finally switched to all formula when my daughter was about six months old. I felt like a failure and was embarrassed that I hadn’t been able to produce enough milk for my baby. I also felt a gnawing, pervasive sense of guilt for “quitting.” I told myself that I still could have pumped what I had to give my daughter some breast milk. Wasn’t some better than none? I’m not sure if I’ve really forgiven myself for my decision, and my daughter is three and a half years old.
When I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, I decided that I would give breastfeeding a try. After the experience I had with my oldest, I was prepared to breastfeed part of the time and supplement with formula for the rest. However, I knew that I did not want to exclusively pump, so I decided that I needed to learn how to nurse. Through the luck of a Google search, I found a lactation consultant (Dana!) near me who did prenatal consults, and I met with her at the beginning of my second trimester. Meeting with her and describing my past experiences helped erase some of the guilt and shame that I felt about my first nursing experience. Whereas my OB and my daughter’s pediatrician had both told me they had “never heard of” PCOS affecting a woman’s ability to breastfeed, had “never heard of” IGT or hypoplasticity, Dana had. For the first time, I felt validated in describing my experiences, and I was glad to hear suggestions for how I might improve my production with my second baby.
From birth, my second daughter was more interested in nursing than my first had been, and I was fortunate not to have to suffer through her refusing to nurse in her first few days of life. Nevertheless, the first few weeks were difficult. Because of my history, I was always concerned that the baby wasn’t getting enough. She was nursing around the clock and I had cracked, bleeding nipples that caused me to wince when I put on a shirt and cry when I thought about feeding the baby. I might have switched to pumping or gone right to formula, but I knew where I could go to get valuable help. I received help in correcting the baby’s latch and eliminating a lot of my pain, I was counseled on how to maximize my milk production, and was reassured that the baby was gaining the amount of weight that she should have been. Having an established relationship with a professional who knew me and my history (and who answered my Facebook messages at all hours of the day and night!) was invaluable to the success of my breastfeeding relationship with my youngest. I am happy to say that I am still nursing my youngest after eight months, and not only do I have enough milk for her, I have donated hundreds of ounces of milk and have two freezers full at home.
I am convinced that the difference between my two experiences was SUPPORT. New moms are bombarded with information about how beneficial breastfeeding is, without being given information on where to go if there are difficulties, or even that difficulties may exist. The sometimes difficult realities of breastfeeding are rarely discussed in prenatal OB appointments and parenting classes, which can leave exhausted, sore, overwhelmed moms feeling confused and convinced something is wrong with them. Knowing what I know now, I wonder if I could have had the breastfeeding relationship that I wanted with my oldest if I had had some more help. I guess I’ll never know, but what I do know is this: the reality is that breastfeeding is not always the same as the idyllic images of smiling mothers and happy babies staring lovingly at one another in a rocking chair, and this needs to be acknowledged (and help needs to be given) to help women achieve their breastfeeding goals.
Thank you, Dana, for all that you have done for me and every other mom you’ve helped. I have seen what can happen without the support of someone like you, and you are making a huge difference in so many lives!"
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| SUPPORT |
“So, are you going to breastfeed?” my OB asked me during one of my final prenatal appointments of my first pregnancy.
“I’m going to try,” I told her. I had done my homework and was well-versed on the benefits of breastfeeding and wanted to see that my daughter benefited from them.
The doctor stopped what she was doing, looked me in the eye and firmly said, “Don’t say that you’re going to try. Say that you will.”
I was not bothered by her comment at the time. She was right, after all. All of my diligent research had told me that “breast is best” and “anyone can breastfeed.” The subtle implication there was that women who were not breastfeeding simply weren’t trying hard enough, or even worse, that perhaps they didn’t care about doing the absolute best for their babies. I assured myself that, no matter what, I would be successful.
On the day my daughter was born, the nurse put the baby on my chest to begin nursing right away. After a few minutes, she asked me, “How’s it going?”
“It hurts,” I said, and I was quite surprised by the amount of pain I was experiencing. I had not been expecting it.
“Well, it’s not supposed to hurt!” the nurse said, and turned and walked away.
I was left alone and perplexed, thinking, “Okay, maybe it’s not supposed to, but it does. What’s wrong with me?”
During my three-day hospital stay, I had a few brief visits from various hospital lactation consultants. I had questions about latching, I wasn’t sure how to help my daughter do it correctly. I remember the consultants would latch her on for me, and while I was thankful for their assistance, I did not learn how to do it myself. The consultants always seemed to be in a rush and I felt like I was taking up too much of their time whenever they came to visit.
The day we went home from the hospital, my daughter screamed all night and refused to latch. Panicked that my daughter hadn’t eaten in several hours, I pumped and fed my daughter through a bottle.
At 10 days of age, my daughter was still having trouble latching and I felt that she was never getting enough when she nursed. I didn’t understand about cluster feedings and just how often newborns nurse. No one had told me that, and for all my diligent research on why breastfeeding was so beneficial, I hadn’t read about the amount of time new mothers must put in breastfeeding their newborns. Convinced that something was wrong, I went to a breastfeeding support group at the hospital where I’d given birth. Two other mothers were there: one had a baby who was about six months old, and seemed to be nursing just fine with his mom. The other mother, like me, had a very young baby. When I arrived, she was talking to the lactation consultant about experiencing postpartum depression, and the two shared stories for most of the hour. At one point, the lactation consultant came over to me at one point when I was struggling to get my daughter to latch. The consultant watched me as I tried and told me that, because of the way my breasts were shaped, I would probably never be able to exclusively nurse a baby, and that I should go buy formula. There was no other assessment done of me or my baby. She then went back to talking to the other mom about PPD as I fought back tears and packed up my daughter to leave. Once again, I felt like a bother and an afterthought.
Not knowing what else to do, I called my husband and told him to bring home some formula on his way home from work. I was angry and disappointed with myself, and I felt like I had failed both my baby and myself.
To make a long story short, after I introduced formula to my daughter, she never nursed again. I pumped what I could, which was about 12-14 ounces a day. I spent hours attached to my Medela Symphony trying to increase my supply. I took supplements, drank enough water to drown a fish, ate lactogenic foods, power pumped twice a day for months, but no matter what I did, I never produced more than 14 ounces in a 24-hour period. I did a lot of reading and research on breastfeeding problems and I learned that having polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal imbalance condition that I have, can affect milk production.
When I discovered that, I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks and I thought to myself, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this was a possibility?” My OB, who so clearly believed in the benefits of breastfeeding and who knew I had PCOS, had never said a word. Didn’t she know this could happen? I read that Metformin, a medication sometimes used to help women with their PCOS symptoms, could help with milk production. I had been taking Metformin prior to my pregnancy and was willing to try it. When I called to ask my OB about it, I was told by the office staff that they didn’t know enough about the safety of Metformin to recommend my taking it during nursing. When I asked for other suggestions, not one doctor in the practice had any for me.
After several bouts of mastitis, thrush, and a further drop in my measly supply, I finally switched to all formula when my daughter was about six months old. I felt like a failure and was embarrassed that I hadn’t been able to produce enough milk for my baby. I also felt a gnawing, pervasive sense of guilt for “quitting.” I told myself that I still could have pumped what I had to give my daughter some breast milk. Wasn’t some better than none? I’m not sure if I’ve really forgiven myself for my decision, and my daughter is three and a half years old.
When I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, I decided that I would give breastfeeding a try. After the experience I had with my oldest, I was prepared to breastfeed part of the time and supplement with formula for the rest. However, I knew that I did not want to exclusively pump, so I decided that I needed to learn how to nurse. Through the luck of a Google search, I found a lactation consultant (Dana!) near me who did prenatal consults, and I met with her at the beginning of my second trimester. Meeting with her and describing my past experiences helped erase some of the guilt and shame that I felt about my first nursing experience. Whereas my OB and my daughter’s pediatrician had both told me they had “never heard of” PCOS affecting a woman’s ability to breastfeed, had “never heard of” IGT or hypoplasticity, Dana had. For the first time, I felt validated in describing my experiences, and I was glad to hear suggestions for how I might improve my production with my second baby.
From birth, my second daughter was more interested in nursing than my first had been, and I was fortunate not to have to suffer through her refusing to nurse in her first few days of life. Nevertheless, the first few weeks were difficult. Because of my history, I was always concerned that the baby wasn’t getting enough. She was nursing around the clock and I had cracked, bleeding nipples that caused me to wince when I put on a shirt and cry when I thought about feeding the baby. I might have switched to pumping or gone right to formula, but I knew where I could go to get valuable help. I received help in correcting the baby’s latch and eliminating a lot of my pain, I was counseled on how to maximize my milk production, and was reassured that the baby was gaining the amount of weight that she should have been. Having an established relationship with a professional who knew me and my history (and who answered my Facebook messages at all hours of the day and night!) was invaluable to the success of my breastfeeding relationship with my youngest. I am happy to say that I am still nursing my youngest after eight months, and not only do I have enough milk for her, I have donated hundreds of ounces of milk and have two freezers full at home.
I am convinced that the difference between my two experiences was SUPPORT. New moms are bombarded with information about how beneficial breastfeeding is, without being given information on where to go if there are difficulties, or even that difficulties may exist. The sometimes difficult realities of breastfeeding are rarely discussed in prenatal OB appointments and parenting classes, which can leave exhausted, sore, overwhelmed moms feeling confused and convinced something is wrong with them. Knowing what I know now, I wonder if I could have had the breastfeeding relationship that I wanted with my oldest if I had had some more help. I guess I’ll never know, but what I do know is this: the reality is that breastfeeding is not always the same as the idyllic images of smiling mothers and happy babies staring lovingly at one another in a rocking chair, and this needs to be acknowledged (and help needs to be given) to help women achieve their breastfeeding goals.
Thank you, Dana, for all that you have done for me and every other mom you’ve helped. I have seen what can happen without the support of someone like you, and you are making a huge difference in so many lives!"
THANK YOU Alison for trusting in me during your journey!
I learned as much from you as you from me! Love, Dana
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